Category Archives: 2015

Cheesy personal reflection of 2015

IMG_0470 (2)

awww, i fucking love this picture

2015 was the year of emotions that don’t have words. I guess I could say it was a meaningful year? Maybe it was a life-defining year? Whatever it was, it was good.

2015 was, dare I say, the best and weirdest year of my life. I don’t feel guilty for saying or recognizing that either, which is a testament to how genuine I feel about 2015. For the first time since I can remember I can say that things are good in my crazy mind and heart. I think this feeling is what happiness is.

I feel wholeheartedly that I am right where I am supposed to be. And what an amazing feeling this is! I’ve never felt this before, and if you haven’t yet, please wait for it. This year I’ve experienced really crazy shit, and it all wound up being wound up in love.

Things that I did in 2015:

  • Got the most perfect dog in the world
  • Quit my job without having a plan for the sake of my mental health
  • Gained 15 pounds
  • Put out two EPs that I’m proud of
  • Went on a real vacation
  • Read the most I think I’ve ever read
  • Quit Smoking after 12 years
  • Started Grad School
  • Broke up with my boyfriend, the love of my life
  • Realized and relied on the beautiful friendships I’ve developed
  • Got engaged to the love of my life

 

And the major lesson of all of this was LOVE. So here’s what I learned about love:

I am so fucking lucky. I am so. fucking. lucky. I am so grateful. And I am so grateful for love. I’m grateful to experience love. I’m grateful that I was able to test love blindly and have the whole experience take me back to love. Phew. Because it could’ve been a close one if I kept my heart closed shut tight.

Oh, and gratitude IS love. I really learned that this year. Really feeling like where I am in life, studying and learning and really doing all I can to experience the whole wide world, well it’s easy to feel gratitude.

My fiancé is my best friend. He’s been my biggest supporter for the past 7 years (and that’s a hard job, because I’m really a crazy person in disguise) . We had a really shitty three months there, but we came out alive. And we came together in love. This heavy heavy metaphysical love. There’s no other way to describe it. And if you haven’t felt love like this yet, please wait for it and don’t give up. Because it’s the most important thing in life. And if you have it, keep it and cherish it, and feel the gratitude that you are lucky enough to experience this feeling that the word love can’t even justly define.

And I can’t wait for 2016! I can’t wait to learn as much as I can this year, I can’t wait to read as much as possible, I can’t wait to GO TO INDIA, I can’t wait to figure out how to plan a wedding, I can’t wait to plant my garden and explore beautiful NEPA with my dog. And I can’t wait to do it all with love and a grateful heart.

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Being female in 2015 (my thoughts on being a musician, my woman crushes, and my hopes)

rey

i knew nothing about star wars before seeing “the force awakens”, but fuck yeah, rey.

2015 has been an interesting (worrisome? rejoiceful?)  year for American women. We have seen congress attack Planned Parenthood and women’s reproductive rights over and over again.  Women started making noise and pressing charges about their experience of rape at universities, in the porn industry, and from Bill Cosby. We’ve been introduced to the idea of mandatory and paid maternity leave. Women still make 77 cents to the dollar.  All these examples show that there is still a need to work towards equality for women’s rights. But I think we’re starting to make stride.

What has made me hopeful about feminism and the future? The Music Scene. 

Where I have seen a dramatic change for women is within the music scene. 2015 was a great year to be a female musician. I played so many shows this year which had other female musicians on the bill, and believe me, this is a triumphant leap. The beginning years of playing in A Fire With Friends always made me feel like a somewhat outsider, like that I was supposed to be the token girl piano player role. AFWF as bandmates never made me feel like this, but shows did. And pictures did. Because for press releases and stuff like that the photographer would want me to be in the middle, even though I’m not the songwriter or singer or guitarist, but because I was the girl in the band. And that’s stupid.

Pity Party, my band that happens to be all girls, has warmly been received as simply a band. We’ve been lucky enough to play really cool fun shows and none of it had to do with us being ladies. No one thinks we’re hot, or at least they don’t tell us this, and that’s a good thing. Because we wanna make music, just like everyone else. We don’t wanna be sexualized or judged. We just wanna play our songs and have fun. Being in a band has been a boys club for a very long time, and it feels good to finally feel welcomed.

Music aside, there have been lots of kick ass ladies making changes in how women are perceived in the world. Here are some of my Women Crushes from this year.

Women Crushes of 2015 (in no ranking order)

RBG

Yas Queen

  1. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

The Notorious RGB, as she has been affectionately called in the title of one of the years New York Times Best Seller, has found herself recognized as a great influence for a new wave of millennial feminism. Her support for SCOTUS’ decision on same-sex marriage and upholding ACA will go down in history.

abbi and ilana

i think broad city changed my life. seriously.

2. Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson

The creators of Broad City continued to produce a fucking great show that demonstrates what it’s like to be a millennial woman in 2015. And it’s not a thing. It’s not a girl show, even though I’m sure people probably assume it is. It’s a fucking really funny show.

bbg

senator elizabeth warren

3. Elizabeth Warren

The MA Senator has continued to kick ass this year by defending planned parenthood and holding big banks and Wall Street accountable.

amy schumer, the goddess

amy schumer, the goddess

4. Amy Schumer

One of the funniest comedians. Continues to speak out about breaking gender norms and women’s issues.

symone sanders

symone sanders, senator bernie sanders’ press secretary

5. Symone Sanders-

Bernie Sanders’ (no relation) press secretary. She has done a lot in her mere 25 years. Before coming to Sanders’ campaign she worked for Ralph Nader. She sits on the board of the National Campaign for Juvenile Justice which is close to my heart.

ana kasperian

thank gawd for ana on TYT

6. Ana Kasperian

The Young Turks journalist and contributing writer for rawstory.com has continued to bring meaningful news to the network.

emily bazelon

i’m so grateful to have been introduced to emily bazelon this year

7. Emily Bazelon

The New York Magazine writer and Slate Political Gab Fest co-host is one of the most brilliant, and most human writers that I’ve come to admire this year.

erykah badu is a fucking genius

you used to call me on your cellular device

8. Erykah Badu

Put out one of my favorite albums of 2015. The concept is brilliant, she’s so fucking talented, and  production is out of this world.

Marilyn Mosby

Maryland State Attorney Marilyn Mosby

9. Marilyn Mosby

Maryland’s State Attorney who oversaw the Freddie Gray murder case. She gave an extremely moving speech when she announced the charges, signifying that systematic racism is real and is killing people.

dr. haifa al-hababi

trailblazer dr. haifa al-hababi

  1. Dr Haifa al-Hababi

The first woman candidate to run for office in Saudi Arabia. What a freaking big deal. By her example, 19 women were elected to municipal seats in Saudia Arabia this year. Also, she is a social worker.

Hope for 2016

I believe that 2016 will be a monumental election for our generation. I am a supporter of Bernie Sanders who has fought for woman’s rights. If Hilary wins, she will help little girls across American dream that they can be president.

I know there is talk of more Girls’ Nights in Scranton, which is an amazing open mic for women musicians, comics, poets, artists, etc. This is so important, and I’m grateful for Jess Meoni for organizing this (no. 11 woman crush). If I had a place to feel comfortable and debut my songs at 19  years old I know I would be much more confident in life in general. I know I wouldn’t have waited until I was 25 to gather up the courage to show my songs to anyone. The visibility of creative and smart women is what inspires me most, and I’m excited to see what we all can create in the next year.

I also know that there are going to be more open conversations at Marywood University about feminism. The first forum back in November had a great turnout and great discussion. I hope this continues to grow.

All in all, we’re moving in the right direction and we’re picking up steam. It’s not so much of a dirty word to use the word “feminism” and more and more people are starting to see that feminism is just equality. And that’s all that anyone wants anyways, right?

Oh and period panties are a thing. That’s a sign if I’ve ever seen one.

thinx period panties

2015 was pretty okay for ladies

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